So I began talking to my friends and family and successful WLS patients. I learned so much in such a short amount of time but I knew that besides Jeff I would need the support of the other two most important people in my life. My mom and older brother Kevin. And because I’m a chicken I emailed them:
Here is the email that I sent my Mom and my brother Kevin when I told them for the first time that I wanted to consult a bariatric surgeon.
I know you are deep into the basketball game so you probably won’t read this for some time. Plus, you know how emotional I can be so I thought this topic might be better suited to start this way. After months of research and many deep conversations with Jeff I have made an appointment to get a referral to see Dr. Miles, a bariatric surgeon in Wilmington. I know this is scary. I am scared of complications from a major surgery. But I am more scared that I am going to have a heart attack, a stroke, die in my sleep from my severe sleep apnea, or have my kids read the words “morbid obesity” as my cause of death on my death certificate. I have used made many excuses about why I have never gone this route before. I have had 2 fertility doctors and scores of primary docs tell me that because of my PCOS that is virtually impossible to lose the amount of weight I need to lose on my own. Whenever they would tell me that I would huff up, leave and never give it another thought, bent on doing it on my own. The truth is I am an emotional, bored, social overeater who never feels full. I will use this surgery to have control over my body for possibly the first time in my memory. I want to do so many things such as jump on the trampoline, ride a horse, hot air balloon, shop in a normal store, walk a flight of stairs and not feel like dying. I want to not feel like a constant embarrassment to my family and friends and especially my children. I don’t want Amber to be the girl with the fat mom. I want to be a good example for them. Kevin, I wanted nothing more than to look nice at your wedding, and I was so embarrassed to meet your friends in fear that you would be embarrassed by me. I am not naïve to believe that the insecurities and self-image issues will go away immediately, this is something that will take some time. But it has to start with being able to look in the mirror and being happy with what I see. My weight struggles began as a kid, I even remember Grandma Mae telling me to lose weight because I didn’t want to be big like her. I thought she was perfect. I remember sitting in the study and Dad telling me that I needed to lose weight because people would take me more seriously in the business world if I fit in. I was 175 pounds then and thought I was doing ok. 14 years later + 100 pounds more and he probably had a point. I am well respected at work and looked up too, but my size may have held me back to some extent. I would like your support in this because I can’t do this without you. After several years of half-heartedly discussing this, Jeff has finally taken me serious and is on board to visit the doctor with me. He wants me to be around for a long time. Give it some thought, I know you will have questions and concerns that we can talk about. Love ya’ll. K.
They were both very receptive to this and we all discussed their questions and concerns anytime they arose. My wonderful supportive Mom went with me on most appointments due to Jeff’s work schedule. She sat with me through 2 nutrition classes, 5 appointments at the surgeon’s office which was mostly just an insurance requirement to weigh in each month prior to surgery. I value her support so much and the 6 month pre surgery process was much more enjoyable with her on my side.
My friends and family have been so very supportive and encouraging. That truly makes all the difference.
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